Our Life
by Mustlovelions66
Summary: 6 totally different teenagers find eachother in Forks High. How can they handle life now when their past is so full of pain and hate? I swear the story is better than the summary. Please read! rated M for language, lemons and some violence/cutting
1. Smells Like Teen Spirit

**Disclaimer: I'm not the awesome Stephenie Meyer, sadly I don't own anything.**

**AN: This is my new story, all human, they've been friends for ever, too awesome for a small town, 6 people, 6 personalities, and despite the differences one group of friends for ever...**

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BPOV

Senior year, I can't believe we're here.. The six of us together again as always, this year was different thought, the rumors were running, since last year we've been the topic from gossip in the whole school, people even labeled us "the gay guy", "the asshole", "the druggie", "the bitch", "the mental case", and "the man whore".

It was all true? Maybe sometimes. But people tend to exaggerate, we are not saints, but we are not sinners either. Rosalie, better known as the bitch, had that reputation for the way she handle guys trying to get on her pants and girls trying to get on Em's, she had a good excuse, the 5 of us all know about rose's past and what she's been through, her walls are built up very high and we somehow managed to get in, Emmet (my brother) was the asshole, for the same reasons as his girlfriend he just had to learn how to protect himself from the rest. Alice, or the mental case, is a really quiet girl in front of people she didn't know, we knew the real Alice, they saw the weird pixie that is always writing on her notebook, we saw the sweet 5' tall girl that loves to shop and is always excited.

Jasper, aka the gay guy, was the most reserved from all of us, he was always taking care of everyone, and for some reason people says he's gay, we really never talked about that with him, and we respect him for who he is, so if someday he comes out, them us girls are going man hunting with him. The man whore or Edward, well he obviously loves a pair of legs, but he's just a normal guy looking for the right girl, or so he says, he's my best friend and between us, he's awesome in bed. Yes we've been down to business a couple of times, can you blame me? He's gorgeous, green eyes, bronze hair, smooth voice. Well I guess that I'm the last one, the druggie, Isabella, Bella to my friends. I don't do drugs, maybe a couple of cigarettes sometimes, I may have smoked weed but nothing major, nothing serious. People say a lot of things about us, people don't really try to be our friends, that's how we met actually. It was our first day at Forks High School, every single one of us had our own issues and every single one of us ended up here, in Forks, Washington.

_Flashback_

_First day in Forks fucking high school, I wonder how many days will take until people start to repel us, we are the no good homeless kids. Fucking good day._

"_Em come on,, wake up, we are already late" I jump on my brother so I could wake him up somehow._

"_EM WAKE UP"_

"_Calm down Bells, fuck! I'm awake" he hit me and I fell on the floor with a loud humph._

"_damn Emmet, you could be more careful" I got up from the floor and went to make some breakfast, 15 minutes later we're on the truck ready to go._

_We parked in the first empty spot we found and everyone is looking at us, being a small town everyone already knows about the poor Swan Twins, I can feel my neck burning with all the stares and pointing we're receiving. We just keep walking to the main office, where a nice lady gave us some papers and then the bell rings._

_I entered my first class and already have an idea how the rest of mi school life is going to be, two blond chicks are sitting in the front row and looked at me like I'm an alien, let me teel you why, i'm not blond, I'm not athletic, I don't wear heels. I'm looking to these nice looking girls, wearing dresses and skirts, while I'm wearing chucks, red shirt and black hoodie. They're wearing too much make up, for me a black eyeliner aand some mascara ou are more than enough. But do you get why are they looking at me like that? Anyways, I turn up the Ipod I have in my pocket and go sit in the first empty chair I found._

_The class starts. English, at least something to look forward on Mondays._

_The teacher is giving us the book list for these year, and surprise surprise, I've already read all of them. Im so focused in my songs that I don't noticed that the teacher is already speaking, fuck, I think he's talking to me._

"_Sorry sir I didn't hear you"_

"_Are you already bored with my class miss Swan, its your first day here isn't?"_

"_Yes, Im sorry sir"_

"_Please loose the earphones"_

"_Yes sir"_

_Im taking my earphones out, when I found a note in my desk, I carefully open it._

_**Hey are you new?**_

_I looked around and I see a gorgeous guy looking at me from the corner of his eyes, he has messy blond hair and a nice body._

_**Yes.. I'm Bella.. you are?**_

_I passed the note and just stand there thinking how was the last time someone was nice to me other than my brother. I never had friends. We move a lot._

_**Oh good. I'm not the only new here. I'm Jasper. Are you bored?**_

_**Ha ha.. a little bit. I read everything in this damn list.**_

_**Oh a book worm huh? No crazy parties or boyfriends?**_

_**Only because I read doesn't mean I don't party.**_

_**Oh really? Do you like parties then?**_

_**Give me a bottle of tequila and I'm the party**_

_The conversation was nice and easy just like that for the entire class, when the class was dismissed, Jasper waited for me and we walked together in the hall. I saw my brother talking to these little girl in front of me. It seems we both had make some friends after all._

_I got to them and introductions were made, the little pixie was beautiful, she dressed in really nice clothes, designer I think, she had spiky black and purple hair, she was really quiet at first and was holding this purple notebook close to her chest. After ten minutes of us getting to know each other, she was a completely different person, talking and laughing, we learned that she has a brother too. _

_I had my next class, and it was nice to know that Alice was in that one._

_It was lunch time, but I was not worried anymore, I had friends now._

_We found a table with Alice, and both of us sit there waiting for the others, that was the first time I saw him._

_He entered the cafeteria wearing a black t-shirt, jeans, chucks and a wool hat. He was perfect with his messy bronze hair and sparkling green eyes. I was about to tell alice about him, when he looked at her and make his way toward us._

"_Bella this is my brother, Edward" I was staring at him at this point, what wrong with me? It's not like I never seen a guy before in my life._

_He looked at me and my knees went limb, thank god I was sitting. I drop my back bag and both of us tried to get it, I touch his hand and I felt like an electric current, I think he felt it too cause he jerked his hand and went to get a sit. Alice saw this whole exchange between us and stood there smirking at the both of us. _

_Right on cue the others came, I met Rose finally, at first I didn't like her very much, but when she told us about her life and open up a little, I could see she and I would be great friends. After hearing about Rose's life, we all ended up talking about our pasts._

_Jasper and Rose, were sent by their parents here to make them behave, they had a really bad rep in their city. Rose was dating this older guy who raped her, making her a slut in her town. Jasper was the weirdo, the slut's little, the gay guy in a little town. They came from a really respected family, old money, old values, scandal doesn't go with that, so here they are._

_Alice and Edward moved here with their family from LA, their family ,looks like the perfect family but for what I understood Dr. Carlisle and his wife, Elizabeth are far from the perfect parents. Elizabeth is not their real mother, their mom, Esme, left Carlisle after Ali and Edward were born, I think its because Carlisle was always working, being Chief of Surgery in the LA Hospital, so eventually she left Alice and Edward with their dad. He remarried and moved here, in my opinion so he can make this marriage work._

_My brother Emmet and me, well we never had a real family, we moved a lot, living with ants and cousins, until our grandfather Charles died leaving the house for us, we moved the same week and started our life here. We both work in the Cafe downtown to earn a living. _

_After that we started spending all the time together, and people started talking. Rumors started to appear. Things about orgies and abortions. Our life in highschool was like a war. But we kept going until we get used to it. Used to people not talking to us. I think was fear or maybe even jealousy. What made it easy was that we have each other. We all come from messed up pasts, we all had struggles in our lifes, and I still believe that that's what makes ourselves made for each other, our own little family in this crazy world. _

_End of Flashback_

Two years had passed since that day, we are all still friends, except that Rose and Emmet were now an item, and even with all the rumors I'm pretty sure Alice and Jasper would figure out someday that they are crazy about each other.

I woke up without knowing where the fuck I was, first day of school, awesome.

I look around, and then I recognized the familiar sheets on the bed, shit.

"Edward wake up" I started to hit the guy next to me on the shoulders "come on asshole, wake up"

He opened his eyes, and smirking he said "Good Morning Bells, how was you night?"

I hit him again and got up, trying to find all my clothes, "Its our first day back in hell Eddie, we have to go"

He got up and with a "Don't call me Eddie, Isabella" he made his way to the bathroom.

Edward and I were not a couple, we just got lonely sometimes. We're really good friends and he's hot. The perfect combination, one day we were both drinking, and looked at each other and said "what the hell" and its been like that for us since last year.

He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later smelling fantastic like he always does, he was wearing our uniform, and his hair was messy and wet. I wonder if we have enough time to..

"Stop staring and go get something to put on, I think Alice's old uniforms will fit."

"I wasn't staring"

"Sure, Sure"

I went to Alice's room, took my uniforms and left before being noticed, no one knows about me and Edward, I just stay over when Alice sneaks out to be with Seth.

Seth is this surfer guy Alice goes out sometimes, he leaves in La Push, and Alice and him has this friendship with benefits thing. I was looking at my reflection in the mirror when she entered the room.

"What are you doing here Bella?" I looked down thinking of something to say, and saw her makeup

"I'm sorry Ali, I was looking for some lipgloss" Nice save Bella

"Since when do you use Make up Bella?" she knows me too well

"Since now Ali, can we stop the inquisition now?"

"Ok, ok. Rude much?"

"Sorry, bad hangover"

"Drinking late with Edward huh?" she smirked at me.

"Yes, well thanks for this. See ya later" I said putting the lip gloss on the dresser and making my way out.

"See ya.... and by the way, My uniform looks good on you" she said winking at me

"Umm.. thanks for lending it to me" I smiled and left the room

Well maybe there was someone that knew about me and Edward, but I am grateful she doesn't say anything to anyone. I think she has a reason thought, she always says that someday me and Edward will see what we have in front of us and just be together finally, I just laugh at that, yes there's attraction but love? That's different. We're just friends.

I knock on Edward's door but nobody answerd, I had to get my things so I could leave, so I just entered. Edward was nowhere to be seen. I grab my things and when I was about to leave his computer made a sound. A message from Victoria? What the fuck? I got close to the computer, so I could read better:

VickRED says:

Ed,

I miss you.

See you in the same spot today,

a first day welcoming? ;)

let me know.

I think I'm going to throw up. Victoria is one of those chicks who thinks sex is the way to keep a guy. It makes me sick thinking about Edward banging a girl like this. I'm not jealous, just.. grossed out.

I made my way down the stairs, I was so mad with Edward, all the chicks from school, and he goes for her?

I see him eating some breakfast, give him a polite smile and go for the door, I need to get out of here.

Perfect way to start my day!

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	2. Sex Has Come Between Us

**Disclaimer: I'm not the awesome Stephenie Meyers, sadly I don't own anything.**

**AN: Please revieeeew!!! I got a review talking about a tv show called "skin" saying that my story is similar. I live in paraguay and I think i never saw that show. Everything I write comes from me and nothing else, if i'm going to use a tv show or another thing to base my stories on I will put it on my disclaimer. And Bella it's not a klutz in this fic :)**

**:) please keep the reviews coming. I will answer everyone!!!**

**The song that names this chapter is from Vitamin C (lyrics on my profile)**

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BPOV

I got to school and immediately saw Rose making out with my brother.

"Get a room" I yelled at them and made my way to the building.

"Someone woke up with a stick up her ass" I looked behind me and saw the messy blond hair.

"Fuck you Jasper" he ignored that

"Whats going on Bells?"

"Nothing dude, I'm sorry, just not having a good day, lets just go to class ok?"

After class we made our way to lunch, everyone was already sitting, and Edward was staring at me, with this weird look on his face. I sat down and he leaned to whisper something on my ear.

"Are you mad at me Bells?" Isn't he perceptive?

"No Edward, everything is fine"

I looked down to my food. I was not in the mood for this conversation yet.

"Hey Bells?" Alice was too happy. This can't be good.

"Yes Ali?"

"Do you love me?"

"Yees.."

"How much do you love me Bella?"

"What's going on Alice?"

"Canyougoouttoapartytonightwithjacobsoicanspentsometimewithseth?"

"Whaaat?"

" Can you go to a party tonight with Jacob so I can spent sometime with Seth?"

Jacob was Seth's best friend. He always had this thing for me. But I don't really see him like that. I know him since I moved here and even if we really never talked that much, I never liked him very much.

"Since when you need me to spent time with Seth Alice?"

"I don't need you, I just want to go to a real date for a change and this is a good excuse, please bells, its not like you are dating anyone, right?" Edward looked at me and then back to his plate. He seemed deep in thought. Hum I wonder..

"Oh Alice, I don't know..." that made Edward smile. Hum is he jealous? Maybe that will teach him.

"Please, please, please, please"

"Ok Alice, Fine" My eyes met Edward's for a second, and he was glaring at me, what the hell its going on?

"Oh Thanks Bells"

"No problem, Jacob is kind of hot anyways, who knows?" I just said that to see Edward's reaction. I really don't like Jacob at all.

Edward excuse himself an left the table without saying anything else. I got up running after him.

"Hey.. wait up" he kept walking and I grabbed him by his arm. "Edward what's wrong?"

"Are you really going out with Jacob tonight?" Is he kidding me??

"Yes, I guess so why?"

"So you sleep with me, and then go on a date with someone else? Classy"

_What the fuck is his problem? Who he thinks he is? My boyfriend?.. I wish.. Fuck! Where did that came from?_

"What the fuck is you problem Edward?"

"Don't you think its a little slutty of you to go out with him if you been fucking ME for a year now?" _I wasn't paying much attention to what was he saying. Do I want to be Edward's girlfriend?_

_Wait. Did he just call me a slut?_

"Did you just called ME a slut? Really Edward? Maybe we should ask VICTORIA if she thinks I'm a slut, don't you think?"

"What?"

"Yes, exactly, how long have you been seeing her behind my back?"

"Oh Bella, how did yo.. Fuck"

I was now in Biology sitting next to Edward. When the bell rung I just came walking to class without looking back. Ok maybe I did look back, Edward was still standing there with that guilty expression on his face. Good I thought. Wait. Why this is bugging me so much? I mean. He is allowed to go out with anyone he wants. I'm not his girlfriend. Even if Victoria is the last person I want to see Edward with, I don't think that that's the problem here.

Every time I think about him with someone else I feel like throwing up, I mean we've been friends for a long time, he's the only person who I can talk about anything.

After what happened with James, he was the one holding me while I was crying. He was the one who helped me when people started talking shit about me. He was always there for me. No matter what. And now we were sitting here. Without looking at each other. Fucking pride that don't let me apologize, but I mean, what should I say? I'm sorry Edward I was jealous of Victoria. Don't fuck anyone else but me please? Yes, that's not going to happen anytime soon, and even if I had the guts to tell him that, I don't have the right, we're just friends. That's not enough.

Oh shit.

I'm falling for him.

EPOV

Oh Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I'm falling for her. Fucking hell. And now I messed up.

Why did I go and fuck Victoria from all people? Couldn't I just fucked Jessica like everyone?

She hates me now. I can tell. Man, I did the same thing HE did.

When James and Bella broke up. I saw how it broke her. Everyone knew James was a creep, but Bella always believes there's good on everyone, so she went out with him. He played her. He played her good. She started to dress weird, talk weird, everything to please him. I can't blame her I mean, he is a fucking good actor.

That went on for 3 months, until one day when she walked in on him with Victoria on the girl's bathroom.

I felt bad for her. She was really sad. But when they broke up, that made me hope, maybe was my turn now to make her happy. I mean, that was what I always wanted since I met her. But now I ruined it and she's going out with Jacob Black.

BPOV

I was doodling on my notebook, when Edward passed a note to me.

_**Bells I'm sorry, the Victoria thing was just one drunk mistake. Ok, maybe I wasn't that drunk. But it was definitely a mistake. A big one. It was just the same night you made out with Damien. I'm sorry Bells. I'm not like him ok?**_

**Edward it's ok. I know you. Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too. It's not like we are together or anything.**

I had no idea how much I want to be with him until now. Shit.

_**I just did her once, and now she's obsessed with me. I don't know what did you hear, but I'm being honest here.**_

**You can go out with whoever you want, and the only reason I'm going out with Jacob tonight is because Alice ask me to.**

_**I know. But you don't own me any explanations either. Don't worry **_

_**There's a party tonight at Eric's, are you going there with Alice and the assholes?**_

**Yes, I think so, Ali has mentioned a party at lunch. **

_**I'm going with Jasper there too. Maybe I can save you from Mr. Muscle.**_

Yes! He's going. Maybe I can ditch Jacob and be with him the rest of the night.

**That sounds good. :)**

The day went by fast after that. Some name callings on the hallway. The usual. I was grateful I didn't see Victoria at school today. That would just be the fucking cherry on the ice cream.

I went home, hang out with Emmet for a bit until Rose got here. It was their anniversary today. 2 years together. So I was sleeping at Alice's so I could leave him the house. He deserves it after all.

I was grabbing a few things when Rose entered my room. She sat down on the bed and looked at me with smile on her face._ Oh boy, this can't be good_

"What can I do for you bitch?" She was still with that fucking smile on her face.

"Sooo.. you and Eddie huh?" I dropped my bag of toiletries and looked at her. OH FUCK.

"What did you just say?" Come on Bella you can lie better than that.

"You heard me Isabella. I can't believe you've been fucking him and didn't even share. I'm hurt." She put her fist on her heart and close her eyes feigning pain. What I'm supposed to tell her?

"What are you talking about Rose?"

"Quit the bullshit Bella. I saw you leaving my house with Edward yesterday and how cozy you two were looking. And when I came home with Emmet you weren't here." Fuck my brother. I was so drunk yesterday that when Edward asked me if I wanted to spend the night I didn't even think about him.

"Did he noticed?" I just gave up trying to hide it from her. I really don't give a shit anymore.

"You should be thankful, I saved your ass. I told him you are sleeping at Alice's, it was not a lie after all"

"Oh Rose thank you so much." She smiled at me knowing that I just admitted I did spent the night with Edward

"Now. I want some details" I knew I wasn't getting my way so easily. But I'm feeling relieved. There's times you just need to share this kind of things with a girl. Specially when is about Edward. But I decided to play dumb for a bit.

"Mm. about what Rose?"

"Bella stop it! Tell me about you and Edward. Right now!" She was serious now. So I just stop stalling.

"Well.. we spent the night together that night we went to the lake remember? We were stuck in the same tent cause he didn't want to sleep with jasper and neither did I. He snores. So we decided to sleep in the same tent. You don't know this cause you were already fucking my brother on the other tent. So we started talking like always. And it just happened." I remember the details perfectly. He was so careful with me that night. I was not a virgin. But it was different with him. It just felt right. I can't believe it took so long for me to notice my feelings for him. A scream coming from Rosalie interrupted my thoughts.

"I KNEW I HEARD SOMEONE FUCKING THAT NIGHT! Besides me of course" she was so happy and excited. It was funny to watch

"Please scream loader. The neighbors didn't hear you clearly." I said laughing.

"So this happens a lot?"

"Sometimes"

"DETAILS Isabella"

"What do you want to know?" She had this brilliant smile and this mischievous look on her eyes.

"Is he good?? He looks like he has a big d.." She has NO idea.

"ROSE! You are dating my brother remember? And yes he does by the way."

"Oh please. I'm allowed to look and I KNEW IT, I can tell this things, why do you think I started dating you brother?"

"Fuck rose, TMI"

"Ok, so tell me more and I'll shut up" she smiled at that feeling pretty smart.

"Ok he is amazing. He does this thing with his tongue..."

In that moment Emmet came barging in bringing Alice with him. She just took every piece of clothing I packed saying something about me not needing that shit, took my hand and almost flew out of the house.

"Are you mentally insane?" She has this familiar look on her face. _Oh no..._

" Its just Beauty Time"

She spent like 2 hours curling my hair, doing my nails, putting make up on me and now she is playing dress up Bella. I know I complain a lot about this obsession Alice has with me and my clothes. But I have to admit I look hot. She put me in this short black strapless dress, it was very fitted, showing all my curves but not as much to look slutty. She put me on a pair of red heels and big red earrings.

Maybe Edward will like it.

While I was in the torture chair, I started thinking about Edward and the conversation we had today.

I really want to believe he was jealous too. Maybe we have a shot together. I would like to find that out. But how?

I went down the stairs where Seth and Jacob were waiting. I haven't seen Edward since school. Where the hell is he?

Jacob saw me and I could see him checking me out.

"Hello hotties" said Jacob staring at me. I tried to hide the disgust I was feeling and smiled.

_This is going to be a long night._

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**To answer some PM's I got, i will not stop writing Bella, Love and Pajamas. **

**Please go and check that one out too!!**

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	3. Use Somebody

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything twilight related!!**

**Hey guys, I'm sooo sorry...**

**a friend of mine killed himself and I just lost it for a while.**

**tahnks for the PM's and everything..**

**pleease revieeew**

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BPOV

"Take you hands off me" I said for the tenth time in five minutes.

"Bells" I cringed at his endearment for me "C'mon baby don't be like that" he said caressing my hair with one cheek while the other rested in my shoulder.

"Are we there yet?" I asked Seth, who was driving, taking my face hastily out of Jacob's hands. Seth and Alice were whispering to each other, and both laughed at my question. It was the first time I was seeing Alice hanging with someone that wasn't in our freak group, and even if she seemed infatuated with Seth, I knew better. He was a distraction, a way to keep her feelings in check, when she's alone, her red notebook does that for her, she takes that damn thing everywhere, at least when she's not fucking seth's brains out.

"Belllaaaa" Alice sang "Stop complaining, and try to have a good time, please?"

I decided to block her completely, and focus on what I discovered this morning. I was in love with someone, and not just someone, Edward from all people. That was soo not good, I mean, I know he's not as bad as people say he is, rumors and all, but he's not a saint either. And that's not even the worst thing, awesome sex aside, we are friends, good friends, we can't ruin that.

_Shit Bella, stop getting ahead of yourself you don't even know if he feels something for you._

"We're here!" Alice clapped in her seat, she jumped out of the car dragging me out with her. The guys following close behind.

"Alice, I swear I'm going to kill YOU, if HE touches me one more time"

"Bella, come on, it's not like you're dating someone…" she said daring me to deny her

"I know but.."

"No buts Isabella, you are here, so you are going to have a good fucking time, do you understand me? I'm not telling you to sleep with the guy, we both know you don't need to get laid" that was the last thing she said to me before going inside with Seth, leaving me standing there with the damn mutt behind me.

"Listen" I said turning to him "I don't grind, I don't kiss, I don't fuck and I don't even talk if I don't want to, so play by the rules or fuck off" he looked amused by this, and then he laughed, he fucking laughed!!

"Sure sure, beautiful" he said leading me inside

EPOV

"Emmet, hurry the fuck up" I yelled again "if you're not down here in five minutes, I'm leaving without you" In that moment I heard him coming down the stairs so I grabbed my keys and open the front door.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you in such a hurry?"

"Nothing is wrong, just lest get the fuck going ok?" I was in front of my car 2 seconds later, with Emmet behind me trying to catch up

"We have to pick up Rose in the way" he informed me once we're inside the car. Making me glare at him

"And you are just telling me now?" I asked him, more yelled at him. His face fell.

Great, now I feel bad. Most people don't know this about Em, he may be big and strong, but he doesn't like being yelled at, at least not from his friends, it hurts his feelings. I think it reminds him of his childhood with Bella, they don't talk much about it, but I know it was anything but easy, the first nights she spent at my house, she had nightmares, really bad ones, she screamed and even cried sometimes. Then the sleepovers became more frequent, and the nightmares not so much.

"Sorry Em, I'm just worried about Bella" I said

"Oh yeah, she's with Jacob right? I swear Alice get everything she wants" he said laughing a little.

"Yeah, I don't trust that guy" I seethed

"Eddie, if I didn't know better I would say you're jealous of my little sister" he said with a smirk

_Thank god he doesn't know better _

I laughed a little to myself

"Is Jasper coming too?" I asked trying to change the subject

"He's already there, something about getting good seats…"

Probably so he could smoke his pot comfortably, I thought.

"He's been acting weirder lately" I was worried about Jasper, maybe I was not the only one that notice

"I didn't notice anything, why are you saying that?"

"I don't know, forget it, we're here"

Rose came running to the car "Let's get going fuckers"

EmPOV

"Let's get going fuckers" said Rose

I was thinking about what Edward said about Jasper, I knew exactly why he was acting weird, and why Rose bought another bracelet. She's getting out of control with those damn things.

_Flashback_

_1 year, 11 months and 3 weeks ago_

"_Jasper, I'm waiting, come on!" I was trying to teach him some moves, but damn it was useless, we were at the basketball court at school_

"_Emmet, I don't feel like doing this, please just let it go, I don't care about what they say" he whispered to me, while I was getting ready._

_Those assholes were making fun of him again, I know his appearance doesn't help his case, his hair always looks greasy and his glasses are big and black, he is always taking that damn bag wherever he goes and he doesn't talk much. Never. But something else was off, he was weirder._

"_I know you don't Jazz, but come on, trying something new is not going to hurt is it?"_

"_Emmet, seriously I really appreciate this, I really do, but I don't feel like it ok? Just let it go!" he was yelling at this point._

"_Ok, ok sorry" I said raising both hands to show him I was giving up. He sat down in the bench behind us, looking at the ground, thinking hard about something. Then he stand up, grabbed the ball from my hands and throw it, he scored. I look at him not believing what just happened._

"_How..how did you do THAT?" I asked really excited_

"_I used to play this a lot back home, I just didn't enjoy it much" he never speaks about his past, never, I think no one of us did, we all know the basics about one another, but we never got into details._

_Well Until now_

"_So why did you play?" I asked grabbing another ball and throwing it too, trying not to show how curious I really was._

"_My dad like basketball" he shrugged "That way I was doing at least something to make him proud of me" I looked at him, he was bouncing the ball, looking at the floor like it was the most interesting thing he has ever seen "he didn't give me shit about my music or my friends if I was playing well, so I did, until he sent us here"_

"_I'm sorry I forced you man… I didn't know"_

"_Today is my mother's birthday" he said ignoring my apologies_

"_Do you still talk to her?" _

"_No" his answer was simple, and even if he was saying it with so much conviction, I could hear the sadness in his voice. He didn't want to talk about anymore_

"_Come on, let's go to my place, I'm dying to kill some Aliens" He smiled at me and we never talked about it again._

_End Flashback_

"Emmet, baby we're here!" Rose said shaking me a little.

"Sorry babe, lets go, where's Edward?"

"He's already inside, what's he's problem anyway?"

"He's PMSing. Now come on, let's get some shots" I said slapping her ass.

RPOV

Emmet was acting strange, I know he noticed my new bracelet, I saw he frowning at it when I got in the car, but I'm fine. I know he doesn't get it, but he doesn't say anything to me about it. I'm perfectly fine.

He knows how it makes me feel better. It started small, I didn't need the bracelets then, nobody noticed, but then Emmet and I started dating, I had friends for the first time in my life, and I didn't feel the need to do it anymore, my little box remained under my bed for months.

Until _she_ started calling, It was only a few times a month first, then it was every week, sometimes twice a day and I began to miss my box, I would sit in my bed and look at it for hours. Now I had five bracelets in each arm, I never take them off, they wouldn't understand if they saw what the colorful objects are hiding, they make me feel good, safe.

"Come on baby, let's find the girls"

BPOV

"Bella!!" I heard Mike calling me, and even if I don't like him that much, I couldn't be more relieved. What can I say? Jacob is driving me crazy

"Hey Mike" I could see he was very surprised at the enthusiasm in my voice

"Let's dance Bells" Jacob said again.

"I'm sorry Jacob, but I kind of promise Mike I would dance with him tonight" Jacob looked angry and Mike looked like a fucking puppy with a bone.

"Yes, sorry Jacob" Mike said dragging me to the dance floor

I was dancing with Mike, and it was not that bad actually. He was very respectful, more than I can say about the dog and he was not a bad dancer either. A slow song started to play and it was a little bit akward for me, I really don't slow dance. Mike sense my discomfort and took my hand, getting closer to me, really slowly to not scare me off.

I suddenly felt two hands on my waist, keeping me for getting closer to mike, I looked behind and there was Edward with all his glory, he was gorgeous, with his black t shirt and black chucks.

"Do you mind Mike?" he said not really waiting for Mike to answer him. He turned me around putting my arms around his neck and we begun moving slowly.

"You look stunning Isabella" he whispered in my ear. Everything was going perfectly, until I spotted a very angry Jasper staring at… _oh oh_…

APOV

"Ughhh… Sethh…" I moaned while he was pressing me against the wall, his tongue attacking my neck

I opened my eyes for a second, looking at the crowd, , I looked all over the room, I spotted Jacob sulking in a corner staring at Bella dancing with…EDWARD!, people around them were laughing and screaming, but I could tell that for the way they looked at each other, they felt that they were the only couple in the room. And suddenly she stopped frowning at something, I followed her gaze and saw _him_ glaring at me. He was sitting at a couch, bong in hand, _of course _I thought, he is always high.

"Alice are you alright baby?" Seth asked me, I pushed my thought away, he's not ruining this party for me. I pulled Seth's head towards mine roughly "I'm fine" I said right before his lips touched mine.

It was an angry kiss, full of passion, but not for Seth, I would never feel for Seth what I feel about him.

_You were a mistake Alice, he said it himself, get over him._

Suddenly I felt myself being dragged to the door, and then Bella was in my face, fuming. We're standing outside in the front yard.

"WHAT THE FUCK BELLA?" I was trying to free my arm from her hold, she was squeezing it harder and harder

"LOOK AT YOURSELF, THIS HAS TO STOP!" she yelled pointing at me, I looked around us, trying to see if anyone was hearing but, the couples nearby were too drunk or too horny to care, and then I looked at myself. My pants were open, my shirt was torn.

"YOU SHOULD SEE HOW YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE!" she was still yelling "YOUR LIPSTICK IS ALL SMEARED!" she took a minute, I know she was trying to calm herself, she hates yelling. She took a deep breath. "You were almost fucking Seth in the dance floor, against a wall, in front of everyone"

"I was not!"

"YES YO…" *deep breath* "Yes you were… I know you… something is obviously wrong. What happened?" The concern in her eyes was everything I needed to break down.

"He was staring at me Bella! I don't know how, but when I look at his eyes, I feel like he is staring right into my soul. It's not fair Bella!! IT'S NOT FAIR THAT HE STILL HAS THIS POWER OVER ME!! I don't want to want him anymore… it…_sob_..Hurts…_sob_…so much!" I was squeezing her arms so hard, I knew I was hurting her, but she was quiet, letting me vent, her arms were holding my body, and I felt that if she let go, I would break in pieces. My back was to her chest, she just hold me until I started to calm down.

"Are you feeling better now?" she whispered in my ear, and suddenly I was feeling tired, I couldn't stand anymore, it was too much "I want to go home, please" I said.

"Sure, I'm going to find seth ok? Sit down here and I'll be right back" she said, sitting me in a bench.

BPOV

"I'll be right back Al" I said squeezing her hand and made my way to find seth, but before I could enter the house two arms hugged me from behind.

"Let's dance sweetheart" I could smell the tequila from Jacob's breath, so I tried to act cool to not piss him off.

"Maybe another day Jacob, Alice is not feeling well, help me find Seth I need to take her home" He grabbed my arms, and turned my body around so I was facing him.

"She'll be fine, just one song baby"

"No" I yanked my arm from his hold and started running to the front door

"Bella c'mon, stop being such a bitch, she's probably just drunk!" he yelled, running behind me.

I ignored him, already standing at the threshold looking for Seth in the living room, Jacob reached me and made me look at him again.

"You really are a cocktease, aren't you?" he smirked "You've been dancing with that mike and then Edward but not with me, whore" he yelled making the people nearby look at us.

"Leave her alone Jacob, NOW!" I heard my brother's voice behind me. I turned to look at him, and saw Edward on his side, his fists were clenched, ready to beat the crap out of Jacob.

"C'mon Bells, let's go find Alice" Said Rose, she was now standing next to me. We picked Alice up, and without looking at Jacob made our way to Edward's Volvo, the boys following us noticing that Jacob was not worth the fight. Emmet grabbed Alice tiny body and with Edward's keys, opened the car to put her inside.

"Are you ok Bells?" Edward asked me, looking at my body I think looking for any bruises.

"Yes I'm fine, I'm sorry about the way I left you in there…"

"Don't worry you were helping Alice, let's go" I couldn't help to notice that his hands were squeezing my waist really hard.

"You can let go now Eddie" I said smirking at his direction

"Maybe I don't want to Isabella" he whispered in my ear making me shiver, but let go of my waist anyways and make his way to the Volvo, with me following right behind.

We got at his house, Emmet took off saying he was spending the night with Rose, that of course earned me a wink from Rosalie pointing towards Edward. I rolled my eyes at her, and after their goodbyes, Edward put Alice in her bed, she was already fast asleep. He came downstairs, while I was in the kitchen sitting in the counter thinking.

"What the hell happened tonight?" he asked, startling me

"I honestly don't know, something about Jasper"

"I really want to know what happened between them"

Alice and Jasper used to be really close, like Edward and me. One day Alice told me she was going to hang out at Jasper's and that night she came to my house, crying and screaming about some mistake and then she closed herself, she never was the same again after that. She started sneaking around with Seth, and hanging with that damn notebook.

"Me too" I said quietly, I looked at the clock in the kitchen wall, and sighed. "I should probably get going, thanks for having my back with Jacob, he's a pain in the ass" I kissed his right cheek and was about to get up when he stopped me.

"You don't have to go Bells, stay here tonight" he said gently, caressing my cheek, he was getting closer to me

"Edward I'm really not in the mood tonight" I really wasn't, not after everything that happened with Alice.

"I'm not asking for sex Bella, just stay, _sleep_" he said getting even closer, our noses touching.

"Edward you know the rules" I whispered. I could feel him breathing, he smelled like mint and cigarettes.

"Fuck the rules" he whispered back, grabbing my face and kissing me. For the first time the kiss was slow and caring. Not like the other times. I felt his lips caressing mine, and then I realized maybe I was not the only one feeling confused about us.

"Okay you win, lead the way Eddie"

He smiled at me, grabbing my hand and leading me to his room. He gave me a shirt to sleep on and strip to his boxers. We lay down together, and I was suddenly nervous about being close to him without fucking, I didn't know if it was ok to get closer so I decided to stay in my side. I gave my back to him and close my eyes.

"Don't stay so far away from me Bells" he hugged me from behind bringing me closer to his body, I sighed in content.

"What's this?" I asked knowing that he knew exactly that I was talking about us, and this sudden change in our agreement.

"I have no idea" he admitted

"Are you scared?"

"Yes, are you?" at least he was honest with me

"Fuck yes"

"But I'm loving every second of it" I could feel the conviction in his voice, I turned around, and kissed him, everything was new for me, this feeling, his kisses, the way his hands were caressing every inch of my body, like he was trying to memorize it.

"Me too Eddie, me too" I said and that's the last thing we said that night.

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	4. Lean on Me

**Yes, I took my time.. sorry... maybe you could take it on me reviewing? I just needed some time to recover from my friend's death and all.. I know I updated my sotry and told you about him killing himself, sorry for making you wait for so long...**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing here.. no profit for little ol' me... SM owns all... :)**

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APOV

"_Jazzyyyyy! Are you here?" I asked entering my best friend's house_

"_Bedroom" _

"_Hey jazz, what's up?" I made my way to his room, up the stairs to the left, the door was open, I entered and I could saw his dark brows walls, full of guitars hanging above his bed. I guess mommy and daddy dearest do pay well to maintain their lives drama free. He had tall shelves on the side walls, next to his bed, full of books and little things from his childhood, he told me about a few of them, I know that his childhood was a touchy subject, not only for him but for any of us, so we had this unspoken rule to never ask, if we want we will talk, if we don't we respect it._

"_Nothing, just reading something" he said, closing his book and throwing it to the floor "What have you planned for us this evening Tinkerbelle?" I hated the nickname, but he could call me whatever he wants._

_Ok I admit, maybe I have a tiny crush on Jasper_

_Maybe..._

"_Not really in the mood to do anything crazy, maybe some tequila and bad TV?" I asked him, knowing that if there was alcohol involved he was game._

"_Can I smoke tonight?" he asked me pouting like I do when I want something, I never was one for drugs, even if it was just pot, so he always asked me if it was ok with me when were just the two of us, when the rest was here I didn't really had a choice. I never smoke with them, but I don't really care if they do._

"_Fine, whatever you want" we went downstairs, and after he smoked, we got comfortable in the couch watching some war movie he wanted to watch, we were already feeling the buzz from our shots, when we started talking about our lives, Jasper is the only one who knows about my little condition, I mean, he's the only one who I told by option, I'm sure the others suspect something, I'm recovering but sometimes I have bad relapses. _

"_I fucked up today again" I told him with tears in my eyes, he looked surprised for a second and then put his arms around me. He just hold me like that for a while, that's why it was so easy for me to talk to him, he never judges, never questions me, I looked up so I could thank him for being there and before I know it we were kissing, the kiss was soft and gentle at first, but it became for demanding after a while, we were making out in the couch, he was on top of me, his hands were going up and down, from my stomach to my breasts. I was moaning and whispering his name, my hands went down, opening his jeans so I could take them off, he was eager at this point, doing everything I wanted, his hands were caressing my bare legs, pulling up my skirt and taking my panties off. He suddenly stopped, and before I could freak out, he kissed my lips gently, telling me to wait a second so he could grab a condom, I relaxed on the couch, feeling giddy that finally this was happening, he was what I wanted and no one else, since the day I met him we kind of gravitated towards each other, he was quiet and he always seem in control, I was nothing like that, so I guess we kind of complement each other. I was laying there waiting for him to comeback but a loud noise broke my thoughts, I got up from the couch and made my way to the stairs and there was Jasper, standing on the top looking really mad, I never saw so much emotion on his eyes._

"_GET THE FUCK OUT, I'M DISGUSTED BY YOU, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT" he was yelling, and suddenly I realized he was staring right at me..._

"_W-what a-a-re you talking about?" I asked him, in the verge of tears_

"_Get the fuck out Alice, NOW, I don't want to look at you anymore damn it, GO! This – He said pointing from me to him – was a mistake" I was to shocked to move, and the next thing I felt was a strong grip on my arms, he was throwing me out in the street…._

"ALICE!" someone was hugging me now but the only think I was thinking about Jasper throwing me out.

"Jazzy please don't"

BPOV

I was lying in bed, the moon was still on the sky when I woke up, I was horny as hell and the sex god at my side was not helping anything by sleeping on the nude.

I was staring at Edward, lost in our world. What's going to happen now? Are we going to be a couple? Does he feel anything at all? He was different today, but maybe he was just feeling territorial or he was scared about seeing his sister so scared and weak again.

Alice…

That night when she came crying about fighting with Jasper, I thought it was some stupid fight, but after a while we realized it was way more than that, Jasper didn't even sit at lunch with us if Alice was there, he was sulking more than usual and even her was not the same anymore, I could see the walls she lived without for months, coming back up, she was not joking or talking anymore, she jus wrote on the damn notebook. And then came the relapses.

We knew Alice had a condition and she was trying to get help, I had no idea what she had exactly until the things started to disappear.

First were pens, erasers, notebooks, things that you lose everyday and don't really give a second thought about it, but Rosalie's purple bracelet disappeared one night that we were drinking at my place, Edward and I were in the couch busy flirting with each other as usual, while Emmet and Jasper were playing Halo on the floor, and Alice was in the couch looking thoughtful writing on her notebook. It had been almost 1 month after Alice and Jasper fought, so they could handle at least being in the same room now. Rosalie suddenly announced she was taking a shower because she thought she smelled like pot and tequila, we were all high by then so we really didn't acknowledge her, the next thing I know Rosalie is coming down the stairs in a hurry, she's talking about her damn bracelet being gone, you can say or do anything to Rose, but you NEVER mess with her and her bracelets. We all looked at her, in silence, waiting for her to say something else, but she didn't, she was feeling so lost without it, she just sat in the steps and cry, rubbing her arms up and down. We didn't know what to do, we spent hours trying to make her feel better, I didn't even noticed that Alice wasn't there with us, until we saw her coming downstairs looking at Rosalie with remorse, she came closer and then I saw the purple bracelet on her hand, after that she told us about her illness, that she was seeing help about it, but it was hard to not take things and hide them on her "special place" as she called it. It took a while but Rosalie finally calmed down, and hugged Alice they stay like that for a while and the last thing I remember was seeing Jasper glaring at their embrace. Alice never took anything anymore, at least not from us and we never questioned her about her "problem"

I decided I was not getting any sleep tonight, so I got up carefully, to check on Alice, I walked down the stairs from Edward's room on the third floor, to Alice's on the second floor. When I got near the door I could hear some moaning and some whispers that I couldn't understand, it looked like she was having a sex dream, I opened the door to make sure she was ok, and stared at her for a little while, I was so making fun of her in the morning, she was probably having a dream about Seth, but in that instant she stop making any noises at all, I thought I woke her up, but then she started screaming and crying. I run to her side trying to wake her up. She opened her eyes and continued screaming, I hugged her and she started to calm down, I kept calling her name but she was not responding.

"Jazzy please don't" she said, so low was not even sure I heard it right.

"Jasper is not here Ali" I told her, caressing her hair, while little sobs were still coming out, I could feel her tiny body trembling on mine.

"I'm sorry about tonight Bells" she said

"Ali, you don't have to be sorry, come on, let's get downstairs and get some water" I said taking her hand and going downstairs.

EPoV

I woke up trying to find Bella next to me, she was here when we went to bed last night, but I was not feeling her warm body anymore.

I opened my eyes and I saw she was in fact not here; I look around and saw her clothes on the chair where she left it, so she couldn't be far, since she wore my shirt to bed last night.

I got up from bed, grabbing my boxers and slipping them on.

Fuck I'm horny

I went to the bathroom, and saw that was still dark outside, I decided to look for Bella downstairs, she probably couldn't sleep and went watch some TV or something, I go downstairs and when I arrive to the kitchen I spotted two glasses on the counter, but no Bella, _maybe she is gossiping with Ali in the living room, _when I got there, I saw Bella sitting on the big couch, she has my Ipod with her, the earbuds carefully placed on her ears, her eyes are closed, so I came closer, and leaning I saw my sister on her arms who was sleeping calmly.

I bent down so I could give Bella a kiss but before I could she spoke.

"Be quiet Eddie, she just slept" she whispered, opening her eyes to look at me, she takes the earphones on and smiles at me.

"How did you know I was even here?" I whispered back

"I always know when you're around" she said, blushing

"Wow, I haven't seen that blush in years, I missed it" I told her caressing her cheeks, that made her blush more, and I just chuckled.

"Is she ok?" I ask pointing to Ali, while I sat on the floor in front of them.

"She is now" Bella sighed

"Jasper?" I asked and she just nodded "I really want to know what the fuck happen between them" She nodded again.

"We have to talk later" She said suddenly "About us"

"I know, love" her big brown eyes got even bigger after what I said. "What?"

"Nothing" she smirked but blushed a little; I chuckled again kissing the top of her head "I'm going to take a shower ok? Be right back"

"Ok, _love_" she said and my smile couldn't get any bigger.

EmPOV

"We need to talk baby" we were lying in bed, today was a good night, I made love to Rose but I could see she was not entirely focused on anything.

"I don't feel like talking right now Em, can we do it later?" she asked, not looking at me, I was getting pissed with her attitude.

"I don't think I can continue ignoring _this _Rosalie_" _I said ignoring what she asked me, and emphasizing my point by grabbing her arms, where her bracelets didn't move, but made this annoying noise.

"There's nothing to talk about Emmet" she said, I could feel the venom on her voice and she was still not looking at me.

"The fuck is not!" I said, rolling her so her back wasn't to my chest anymore, she looked down still not making eye contact with me "I tried to grab your wrists while we were fucking, you scream in pain! You have to stop this shit RIGHT NOW or so help me god…" She didn't let me finish

"Fuck you Emmet, you are not my dad, you are supposed to be on my side not against me damn it!"

"Baby I'm not against you, but you have to control this urges you have, there's no room for more bracelets on your arms" I tried to reason with her, but I knew this were just making things worst.

"My _urges? _MY URGES!?" she scream at me, well at least I was prepared this time "You think its easy Emmet? You think I just can say "Ok I'm not going to cry or feel anything when that bitch calls pretending she cares about our well being!!!"

"I'm not saying you shouldn't feel, I'm just saying you could try handling things in another way"

"Emmet, you are not my fucking doctor, you are my Boyfriend, so stop talking about this. You wouldn't understand what is like to have someone that doesn't care about you" The moment those words left her mouth I could see the guilt pass her eyes, too late now. "I'm sorry I didn't me…"

"How dare you?! How can you even say something like that to me?" I was beyond livid at this point, and trying my best no to yell at her, she knows about my childhood, how can she say that? I started to get up from her bed, trying to find my clothes that were scattered across her bedroom, _fucking celebration this turned out to be. _

"Emmy, please, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking" she was grabbing any part of me she could reach, trying to pull me back to bed.

"Yeah, you weren't, I will call you tomorrow ok? It will be better for me just to go home right now." At this point she was crying on bed, and I started to feel a little bad, shit I am so whipped.

"Stop crying Rosie, please?" I sat down, leaving every piece of clothing I found on the floor next to her bed, and started caressing her head, until I was holding her body against mine

"Don't g-go Em, pl-please?" she was sobbing, and looking at me without any sparks on her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere"

JPoV

Thump

"Oh God"

Thump

"Oh Gooood"

"CAN YOU SHUT PLEASE? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP IN HERE" I said for the eleventh time banging on the wall, is one thing knowing one of you best friends is fucking your sister, but hearing it is totally a different and disturbing thing.

I hate when Emmet comes over.

I reached for the lights, and when my eyes adjusted, I started looking for my Bong, if I'm staying up I better have a good reason for it.. My eyes landed on the empty space in my shelf while I was preparing my shit, it was hard to focus because I was so tired. That spot wasn't always empty though, and that thought only made it harder to concentrate on what I was doing, I gave up, putting all my things on the drawer where I kept them, my "special place" I thought, adding to the anger that was boiling in my chest.

Fucking "special places".

My eyes landed on the same spot again and I just stay there staring at it, trying to find some sense in everything that happened tonight.

_I found a couch where I could smoke my shit peacefully, and still be able to keep tabs on my friends. When we decide to go to one of these things, shit ALWAYS happens, so is always good being alert._

_I found Bella dancing with Edward, hum… I wonder if they finally figured it out… Yep… definitely, ha! Finally_

_My eyes kept moving, seeing the familiar faces of the shitheads we go to school with, what a bunch of pus…_

_And there SHE was. Sucking face with what's his name. What a whore. I can't believe she's not ashamed of even doing something like that in front of me, I'm sure the only reason she lets he fuck him is because he keeps valuable objects laying around, fucking asshole._

_I kept staring, and suddenly her dark eyes met mine, the idiot was sucking her neck, but she was looking at me, I could see that she wanted me there, sucking her neck, touching her tits like that._

_I wanted that too._

_Her eyes were darker the minute they found mine, all the lust they were holding was directed at me I was almost getting up from the fucking couch when other emotions flicked on her eyes too, sadness, rejection… or maybe was just guilt._

_Bitch_

_My stare was becoming a glare; I can't believe she still holds so much power over me, for a minute there I almost forgot how she hurt me. How she betrayed me. She saw the change on my expression, because she closed her eyes trying to block me out, I know she can't._

_Serve her right._

_Bitch_

_Suddenly the fucker started being more rough to her, more demanding, her eyes were now closed but I could feel how turned on she was, and then Bella came dragging her out like the crazy motherfucker she is. What the hell just happened?_

I heard all the commotion right after that, the screaming, the crying, the swearing, and I didn't want to be a part of the crazy shit tonight, so I just left, I walked to my car, and got out of there, finally far away from the heartless bitch.

RPoV

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Why do I have to be so mean to him? He is only trying to do what's best for me. Why can't I be better for him?

I can't sleep. I'm lucky he even stayed after what I said. Of course he knows what is having no one that gives a shit. He always says that I'm the only person that is not obligated to love him; he even thinks Bella is obligated to love him.

Emmet is the more lovable person I know, he always cares about everyone, he knows how to protect his friends and he will ALWAYS do it. How can I say the only thing that can make him so mad? I saw how he was in the verge of yelling, he NEVER yells. He hates yelling. Just like Bells.

My hands reached to his locks, he looks so peaceful sleeping, like he has no care in the world. I love him so much. I looked at my hands caressing his hair, and then I look at my bracelets. How can something so small cause so much trouble? He should be happy I can find something that makes the pain go away, at least for a moment. _Who am I kidding?_

I know he doesn't understand how I feel, the feeling of the shiny object going through my skin, the sight of blood, and the relieve pain brings, nobody can bring that kind of relieve, not even Emmet.

I need this to survive. Maybe someday he will understand. He has too. I need him at my side, or there's no point in surviving.

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